Why Tia Mowry joined the Not Another Parenting Guide initiative on Coterie
Today, Coterie, a modern childcare brand, announced its Becoming Parents campaign to show that there are different ways to start a family.
Not all paths to parenthood are the same. Much of what we see culturally points to a simple heteronormative journey, so this campaign is an opportunity for Coterie to celebrate and share all of the glorious and inglorious journeys to be parents.
The Becoming Parents campaign consists of a moving short film, The Modern Guide to Parenthood, and a book called Not another guide to parenting. Both show the reality that many people face various challenges on the way to parenthood; the film with a visual representation of the misconceptions surrounding a “typical” path to parenthood and delivers it with powerful personal stories from their clients, Coterie employees and household names such as actress Tia Mowry. Stories range from adoption to infertility and surrogacy and beyond, and 100% of book sales will go to BabyQuest, available at notanotherparenthoodguide.com.
The Baby Quest Foundation provides financial assistance through fertility grants to those who cannot afford the high costs of procedures such as IVF (in vitro fertilization), surrogacy, egg donation and pregnancy. sperm, egg freezing and embryo donation.
Ms Mowry has spoken openly about the difficulties she encountered when trying to have a second child after being diagnosed with endometriosis. Below, she shares her journey and explains why she thinks it’s critical that everyone understands that even an unconventional path to parenthood doesn’t make it any less special.
Get diagnosed and make changes
“I was diagnosed with endometriosis in my mid-twenties and had no idea what that word even meant,” Mowry said. “In order for you to be properly diagnosed, you must have surgery.”
Dr. Lowell Ku is a Reproductive Endocrinologist at Dallas IVF. He has not treated Ms. Mowry but understands the difficulties and stress her patients face. After helping thousands of patients, Dr. Ku and his wife have become fertility patients themselves. “Although a pelvic exam, ultrasound, or MRI can be administered, a laparoscopy is the only way to diagnose endometriosis and may provide a more conclusive picture of the location and extent of your endometriosis,” a explained Ku. “In some cases, a doctor may even be able to treat the condition during laparoscopy.”
Dr. Ku described endometriosis as a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus. Depending on fertility and infertility, it affects over 11% of American women between the ages of 15 and 44. It is especially common in women in their 30s and 40s and can make pregnancy difficult.
“Hearing all this at the age of 25, I was devastated,” Mowry said. “I didn’t know what infertility was. It just wasn’t part of my vocabulary or my world.”
Mowry’s doctor advised her to change her lifestyle if she wanted to have children. So it was after Mowry’s second surgery that she deepened her knowledge of her health, well-being and diet.
“I am so grateful to my doctor because she put me in the right direction. I would even write to these authors and ask them to sit down and have lunch with them,” Mowry explained. “I have taken this incredible journey into wellness and how food is and can be medicine.”
Infertility does not discriminate
“According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, more than 6 million women between the ages of 15 and 44 struggle to become or stay pregnant, whether they have already had children or not,” said Dr. Ku. “Of these, an estimated one-third suffers from secondary infertility, and one in four experiences a miscarriage. “
“When we were trying to have a second child and had a very early miscarriage, it was Christmas,” Mowry explained. “I was on the floor, and it was terrible. I was overwhelmed and I was crying. When you’re a public figure, everyone automatically assumes you have this perfect life and puts you on a pedestal. So I had scared to share all of this at first. But what motivated me was that after changing my diet, exercising better and having a better outlook, my doctor felt that these changes and new journey eventually helped me conceive. I knew then that I couldn’t keep this story to myself. women are not taken seriously and feel lonely, and I wanted to help. I am where I am now because that I can help other women and people feel good about their parenting journey and not feel alone or ashamed in any way. “
African American women are around twice as likely to suffer from infertility compared to white women. However, only 8% of black women see a doctor to get pregnant against 15% of white women. When asked why she thought this was the case and how we could change it, Mowry replied, “I think it’s just a lack of awareness, plus we lack the proper resources to provide us. understanding that we need. I think that’s the biggest problem there. A lot of times we’re not even part of the conversation. So many cultures are devoting their time to making this country a better country. We all should. have that equal opportunity and get us part of the conversation because the more awareness there is, the more visibility there is and the more appropriate the treatment will be. “
Not another parenting guide initiative
On Coterie’s website it says, “Get married, have sex and 9 months later a baby comes. Is not it ? The path to parenthood has been oversimplified for too long, with outdated standards that do not reflect our lived realities. to change the way we talk about becoming parents. “
When Mowry connected with Coterie, she loved the campaign and felt they understood her story. “The goal of this whole campaign is to dismantle outdated standards on how to have a family,” she said. “It also encourages others to be excited to share how they have their families like IVF, surrogacy and the powerful stories of families who have experienced challenges and triumphs. It is not always there. perfect picture that we see that can leave other insecure feelings. It resonates with me. The goal is to make everyone feel a sense of oneness and community – love is not because that this does not happen in the traditional way that you are less than. “
Tips for others
When asked if she has any idea how those trying to design trenches can defend themselves given the stigma surrounding infertility and that it can take seven and a half years before they are diagnosed with endometriosis, she stressed the importance of trusting your gut. .
“You are the only person who understands you like no one else,” she says. “You are the greatest and the best defender of yourself. I also recommend finding a mantra. I always say to myself, “You have this! Whenever you feel overwhelmed, lost, or depressed, give yourself a positive mantra. You must also be your greatest support. It was very helpful to me. “
Speaking as someone who has had their own journey of infertility, I greatly appreciate those like Ms. Mowry, who use their public platform to raise awareness about this issue. It’s exciting to see this initiative celebrate parenthood, no matter how you build your family, and I hope the more we share our stories the more we remove those stigma.